


A Very Special Valentine’s Special: An Epilogue to Watch Movies and Talk Shit (in that order).

by darleen8



Category: Homestuck
Genre: "Comedy", Adult Beta Kids, Happy Valentine's Day!, M/M, Pepsicola, Red Romance, Valentine's Day Fluff, except it's not comedy it's just john being cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 15:30:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9768182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darleen8/pseuds/darleen8
Summary: In a reflective epilogue to a story I may never write, John decides to share a different sort of story than usual for February 14th's episode of Comedy Night Live. If you've read As the Queen Demands, this is an epilogue-y continuation that takes place three years later. Enjoy adult human comedian John reflecting on the past few years with an arguably fluffy valentine's story. Happy Valentine's day, Pepsicola shippers.





	

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SO this was written for day 2 of the February Valentine’s challenge on the Homestuck Amino, Featuring Pepsicola.   
> I don’t know if I’m making this a full blown story. But if I did follow up “As the Queen Demands” with a story, as per request on AO3, this would definitely be the Epilogue. Enjoy, I’ll post this, and if I decide to continue “As the Queen Demands” as a multi-Chapter Story, it would have the title “Watch Movies and Talk Shit (in that order)”.

The comedian took a deep breath as he looked out behind solid, black curtains, at the stage and the audience around him. As usual, the lighting and stage retained his signature blue, and the crowd was an average one, for these sorts of things.  John exhaled, then inhaled, and his hands gripped the curtain. He found that his leg was jittery, and he’d felt the need to pace, do jumping jacks, or go sky diving to release the adrenaline that was running through his veins. A busy looking woman with a headset noticed him, and offered him a reassuring smile. He shakily returned it, and she gave him a thumbs up before sprinting away. John knew the people backstage were busy, even before recording episodes started.  The fact that the woman with the headset even stopped what she was doing meant that how he felt was as evident to him as it was to everyone around him. Carefully, John let go of the curtain, then readjusted his glasses and ran a hand through his hair. His stomach turned, and he sank against a backstage wall. Another busy worker flashed him a look of worry.

 

“Mr. Egbert?” She’d asked the comedian, while holding a clipboard. “Are you feeling alright? We still have a few minutes before you go on, if you need medicine, or something else.” He could hear her tone change to one of worry, and he knew what she was thinking- getting something like that would probably throw a wrench in her schedule. He shook his head, and waved his arms at her. John would have asked for medicine if he needed it.

 

“No, no. I’m not sick or anything, just… terrified, of going out there.” He said, with a bit of a laugh. “Please, don’t trouble yourself, I’m fine.” He added, and at that, the woman nodded and left, her eyebrows knitted in confusion, and John could tell that his words perplexed her. The comedian didn’t blame her either, any onlooker would have been confused. Stage freight was common among actors and entertainers alike, especially for a first show, and nerves that kept an entertainer on edge were the norm before any performance. But this definitely wasn’t John’s first time on stage or in front of an audience, and he definitely felt more than pre-show nerves. He was terrified of going out there, even though he’d been doing this show for two, almost three years now.

 

Logically, the comedian should have been used to the routine by now. Being on stage for Comedy Night Live had never felt like a job for John, that was the easy part. For an idea he’d kept since his childhood, which had grown from elementary school talent shows to podcasts, to YouTube videos, then performances at comedy nights, then comedy clubs, then to recording studios and live shows and tours, John shouldn’t have been nervous. He was in California, his main base, and he was performing on his home stage with an average sized audience for what could have been the hundredth time in his life. This, in theory, shouldn’t have made him this nervous, this terrified. John Egbert was arguably handsome, well loved by pretty much everyone, and in his element- nothing about this performance should have made him nervous. And yet, here he was, crumpled against a wall mere minutes before he had to step out there. He was terrified of what the audience would think, about what his ratings would be, about how he’d speak. John was feeling worse today than he had been when he had to improvise an entire routine in front of millions of people since someone told him the wrong date for a tour. Heck, he was more nervous than he had been doing his first large comedy club performance, and that was when he smiled, then started crying from how terrified he’d been the second he went off stage, when he was nineteen.  That was eight years ago. So why was he so scared to go on stage now?

 

Well, to start, it was February 14th. That was Valentine’s day here, and he knew that a majority of the audience either came here with a significant other, or to get a laugh while they were single. That added pressure, but of course, that wasn’t all. John knew today’s show would be different, for a variety of reasons. Today, he didn’t plan to be overly physical, like usual (he’d gained a reputation of ‘flying’ around stage), he had someone to get back home to, and more importantly than anything, the topic… the topic was different than anything he’d ever done before. He wasn’t sure he could, and he had half a mind to bail on the idea and just tell a funny story or two instead. And he could have, but he’d planned, practiced, and thought about this. At least if his career ended after this show, he would have needed it on something he was proud of, right? Okay, no, that thought didn’t help him at all. And his career probably wouldn’t end after this- that, at least, was an exaggeration.

 

“Main entertainment- ah, Mr. Egbert, to the stage?” A voice asked, and he stood. He nodded, and shook out his arms… it was time to start the show. The stage dimmed, and he forced himself to look stage ready. He went out there, cloaked in darkness, and made his way over to the piano bench. John relaxed a little- this was the easy part, the cheesy opening. He wore way more formal clothes than usual for the occasion, and John knew that any fans of his previous episodes would be genuinely surprised at the change in attire. John waited carefully, and he felt the audience’s curiosity in the dark. A red and white spotlight fell on him, and he started the short intro he’d prepared for today. He knew this would be caught on the recording, so he flashed his dazzling, John-Egbert-Brand smile at the audience as he started. He noted the few rose petals that fell from the ceiling just a little bit behind, and sometimes on him, and from the noises he heard, he was sure the audience loved it.

 

John finished the intro when the regular lighting came up with practiced ease, then stood up from the side of the piano and bowed. The audience cheered, and he smiled, then went over to the center stage, where a chair waited for him. He waited for the applause to die down before speaking, and he grinned.

 

“I hope you guys liked that, it took a lot to get me in this suit.” He started, casually, and he heard appreciation from the crowd- most of them clearly knew about his dislike of formal attire. He spoke into the microphone on his cheek, fully relaxed. “Well, that was my gift to you all- happy Valentine’s day, people! Or, as some like to call it, single’s appreciation day. Or discount chocolate day. Or “Gog mom, don’t remind me that I was conceived today!” day. Yeah, we’ve all heard it.” John said, and the audience laughed. He laughed a little too. This was the easy part, the intro. It wasn’t hard yet.

“And you know, Valentine’s day is a pretty big part of American culture. We buy cards, candy; get deals at stores- great holiday, if you ask me.” John said, and he heard the audience’s assent. “Except, you know, when it’s not. It’s not a good day for the kid in fourth grade they forgot to add to the list of people to make those cute little valentine candies and cards for, so they don’t get any. They just watch the other kids enjoy their food, and their little heart breaks a little on the inside, even if the teacher promises you she’ll give you candy- you know it’s not the same.” John said, and paused. “That kid was me.” It got a few surprised, and a few pitted laughs from the crowd. “And, you know, I’m sure all of you have heard of, seen, filmed, and/or been rejected on Valentine’s day… also me, by the way, the video’s probably still on YouTube. Actually, can we pull that up right now? Yeah?” He asked, and the video came upon the screen just after that. “The one in the blue is me.” He said, shaking his head. The video played, and he saw a significantly younger version of himself walk up to a girl, and attempt to ask her out in the mall. The amateur-filmed video shook a little as she dumped her pink ice cream on his face, and the audience laughed in surprise. John laughed with them- he knew that he’d been a bit of a jerk when he asked her out, but that was embarrassing. They clapped for him as the video shut off, and John was the center of attention again. John shook his head, laughing.

 

“Yeah, that ice cream was cold, but where’s my sad violin?” This cued more laughter from the audience, and John paused, then kept speaking. “Honestly though, Valentine’s day has been a low point for a few times, but for the most part, it’s not been that bad. I’ve had friends, or Netflix to keep me company, and lately, I’ve had someone else by my side too, for today. So, besides the story of little Johnny getting rejected in the mall, I don’t have too many sob stories to tell about today.” John said, and looked out at the crowd.

 

“You know, I’ve always thought Valentine’s Day has gotten a little blown up, and that’s not a bad thing. If you have friends, you can celebrate Valentine ’s Day. If you have a significant other, you can celebrate it. If you have money for chocolate, Netflix, and movies to binge, you can enjoy the holiday. That’s what I did in high school, anyway.” John said, and it got a few laughs. “Yeah, I know. Singles for the win guys, be free. But seriously? I always thought Valentines was about being in love more than anything, and it’s a wonderful feeling.” He said, and smiled, then sat. “So today, I’m going to get a little cheesy, if you couldn’t tell with the piano and the rose petals. Give some props to the people that set that up by the way, I’m sure it took some time to figure that out.” He heard cheering, and sounds of appreciation from the audience. The stage crew always deserved a hand, because they were all instrumental, and appreciated. “Now, I think that it’s time we get to the good part. So, in the spirit of Valentine’s day, I’m going to tell you the story of how I, John Egbert, fell in love. Is that alright with you all?” He asked, and got more cheers of interest and approval. He took a breath. Here goes the hard part, then.

 

“Great. Okay, so the way I met my boyfriend…  first, I’m going to say, it happened because I’m dumb. I broke every social rule, ignored every cue, made every mistake… I was a mess, okay? I mean, I meant to come in like prince charming and all that, but no- I did it in the dumbest, least cool way possible, for a bunch of reasons.” John paused, remembering. “For one, when I met him, I was completely straight and twenty four. I remember, my show had just started earlier that year, and a couple of close friends and I decide to go out to a bar one night, to catch up and talk. Now I don’t drink anything because I’m driving myself home, but I was having a good time, telling jokes and catching up, you know?” John asked, and he felt them nod along with him. “So, we’re having a great time, and all of the sudden, this guy walks into a bar at night, wearing sunglasses. Naturally, I have no clue who he is, and he doesn’t talk to us or anything, he just goes to the bar. You know, I was willing not to care, but my two friends, Rose and Jade, start indulging on some celebrity gossip.” The room was quiet, and he could hear a shift in the audience… it was interest, good. John gave a little laugh. “Yeah, I know you’re all interested in that, ha.” He said, and he received a few chuckles from the audience, because they realized he was right.

 

“So my two close friends, Rose and Jade start talking about this dude at our little table, right? And they say he’s bad news. He never gives money to charity, he’s an ass, he’s probably one of the richest, worst people in the word. And they use popular media as their sources, so I’m willing to offer the logical response- they could have it out for him, he’s an easy target, but Rose and Jade insist that he’s just the worst. I tell them that he’s probably better on a personal basis, and they say the thing that gets me. He has no known or living family, and no friends.”  John’s voice changed, and he could tell, the audience was listening.

 

“I remember looking back at him, drinking alone, which is as depressing as it sounds, and deciding that I want to befriend him.” John said, and sighed. “Now, you know the middle school cafeteria rules- never go befriend the new kid unless you have a squad of people behind you, or else you’ll look stupid and come off annoying, right? I’ve watched mean girls, there’s a reason that there’s a group of them.”John said, and it forced a laugh out of a few, but most of them were interested in the story. “Well, they apply here. So I invite Rose and Jade to come with me. Long conversation short, they say no, and after staring at this lonely dude all night, I ditch my friends to go befriend him.” John smiled.

 

“I’d like to say we hit it off, and I told Rose and Jade I told you so, and we lived happily ever after… but that’s not what happened. I walked up to him, preparing to live out a movie cliché or two, and start talking… and he doesn’t want me there. I mean, the rejection was outright. One word answers, looking down at his phone the whole time. He didn’t want me there, at all.” John said, and smirked. “And, of course, that meant I had to stay. So, I stick it out. He starts talking to me, trying to figure out what I want with him. I’m annoying him, and he only wants me gone, but twenty four year old John is trying to change that, you know? I go through all the tactics on my mental friendship starter list. And everyone has one, whether you know it or not.” He said, and grinned. “Yeah, it’s like a deadly weapon checklist, but with friendship- we all have one.” John said, and that got a laugh out of the audience, until his position changed, and he was fully in story mode.

 

“So first, I’m talking to this guy, and I’m telling myself ‘Alright John, try to impress him’. I know he’s a director, and all of those actor/movie/ theater people know Shakespeare, so I cleverly, or at least that’s what I thought anyway, try to use quote or two, try to make him laugh, try to get to know him. Now, He definitely wasn’t impressed, and from the way the bartender looked at me, I know I looked like an idiot.” John said, and smiled a little, at his own stupidity. “I attempted everything to befriend him- even offering to help with his flappy bird score, which was really, really low. I mean, it was bad. He’d been trying for hours, and his high score was eight. Who knows how long he had it before that, but man.  He was drinking alone, and terrible at flappy bird. One hell of a guy, right?” John asked, and the audience laughed. “I mean, tap to flap! It’s not that hard!” John added, and they laughed more. He laughed with them a little when he thought about it.

 

“But that’s not the point. Eventually, we’re talking, and I’ve got nothing. I have no clue what to say, and I don’t know what compelled me to do this, but I was speaking without thinking. So I decide that I’m just going to come out and say that I want to be his friend, instead of trying to impress or therapize or whatever the heck my strategy was before. I decided to be completely honest with him, and tell him that I want to get to know him.” John paused for effect.

 

 “Instead,” John started, talking again. “I look at him, dead in the face, and say that my two best friends think he’s the worst person in existence, that everything I’ve heard about him is terrible, and looking at him drinking alone physically depresses me.” He heard a few surprised laughs from the audience, and John smirked. “You think that would be the type of information I keep on the down low, right? Use one of those filter things. But nope. Not… not me.” He said, in a voice that made the audience laugh. “In case you were wondering, telling someone that everyone you know thinks they’re terrible usually isn’t the best way to start a friendship.” John said, and looked up. “After I say it, I want to take it back, to slap myself. The bartender, who’s a little forced to listen in on our conversation, has wide eyes, and he’s holding back laughter. It was… bad.” John sighed. “Dave, for his part, doesn’t just get up and leave right there, which gives me a chance to try to fix it. I was going to apologize and leave, but he tells me to wait. So I’m babbling, trying to fix what I said, and he seems to get what I actually meant- that I want to be his friend, that I want to hang out with him and talk to him, and that I think he’s really, really cool.” John looked up at the ceiling.

 

“I can’t even explain what happened when he realized what I actually wanted, even though I phrased it in the worst way possible. There was like this… shift. And the night takes off from there. We end up at Dave and Busters, and I have one of the funnest times of my life, and he does too, even though he’s playing ski ball while drunk at 11 at night. Eventually though, the place closes, and he’s got a terrible hangover.” With the full intention of doing some drunk assistance, which you already know I’m good at… I end up sleeping with him.” John admitted, and sighed. “I wasn’t drunk, and everything was completely consensual- and let me remind you, I’m still straight. It was a really… interesting night.” John said, and held the microphone in his hands. “He’d asked me stay until the next morning, I helped him with his significantly reduced hangover, courtesy of an Advil the night before, and we have the notorious morning after.”  John slumped back in his chair.

 

“I couldn’t even tell you what I was thinking. I was confused as hell and lost, and I had no clue what to do. And he’s the one that ends up taking the lead. He treats me to this cute coffee shop, the Alchemist Coffee Project, and we just talk. I mean, we took a seat, ordered, and he talked to me, for hours. It’s probably one of the most important conversations I’ve ever had in my life.” John noted, remembering. “This is a guy that’s still dealing with hangover headaches, by the way. This is also a guy whose schedule is so busy that our conversation, for hours, probably left a thousand missed emails and texts and phonecalls- and I never saw him check his phone once, during the entire time. He talks me through everything, lets me ask questions, and he asks me questions too. He said it was okay that I wasn’t homosexual or bi or whatever, and said he was okay with not talking ever again, or being friends- he didn’t even push a romantic relationship, he knew I wasn’t ready.” John said, and sighed.

 

“In the end, we exchanged numbers, and decided to be friends. We got along well, after all.”  John noted, and continued. “But that was a loose term, not a commitment. I didn’t call him, and he understood. I may have been avoiding him, I don’t know.” John sat up in the chair now. “And you guys know how it is when you’re either into someone or avoiding them- you suddenly run into them everywhere. A guy I hadn’t seen once before that night is at every social gathering I go to. I mean, mayor’s party? He’s there. Award ceremony? He’s there. Friend’s cousin’s son’s Bar Mitzvah? Dave Strider is in the room!” It got a laugh from the audience. “You know, at first, I try to just… not see him, right? I’d run to the other side of the party, or go to the bathroom, whatever. And it was fine, until he found me. We ended up talking, and I was nervous about it, but he was completely calm. I’m prepared to try to hold conversation with him, and talk about comedy night or his new movies or flappy bird, or something.” John looked up at the audience.

 

 “Thing is, that’s not how conversation with Dave works. If you’ve ever gotten to know Dave even the slightest bit personally, you’d know how he talks. It’s insane- he bends the English slang and language in insane ways, and his sentences border on senseless- he talks in a thousand metaphors and similes, and listening to what he says can be like a puzzle. It’s definitely a process. Instead of telling you how he’s feeling, he like, gives you four metaphors with about twenty cuss words and you have to figure out what they have in common to figure out what he’s saying, but then he could just be using that to hide-” John cut himself off, and looked at the audience. “It gets crazy, okay, but they’re the best conversations in the world, because he can actually make you spend hours talking about nothing, and everything. He talks like Hamilton writes, along with being super witty and hilarious, and I feel like Angelica, or Eliza or something.” He heard cheers from the audience in appreciation, and before he could filter himself, his mind thought of a pun, and his mouth spoke it. “Yeah, those conversations leave me… Helpless.” He sat for a second, and then flushed when he realized what he’d done, a pun. That was something he’d been trying to make himself stop, and he saw the people that got it laughing or giving him amused, in pain expressions. Shit. John laughed. “Oh gog I’m so sorry. That was bad. Fire me now, geez.” He said, with a laugh, and received shouts of reassurance instead. “Anyway, we talk all night, and it’s incredible, then we decide to hang out later as friends. And I remember the first night he came over, because I was shaking as I answered to door. He came inside, and we watched a movie.” John smiled at the memory.

 

“We’re awkward for like an hour. I’m terrified that we’re going to end up having sex and I have no clue what to say to him, since, by the way, I’m still not a homosexual. It’s a horrible mess of social awkward for a while, and I’m questioning every word I say, every time I touch him, every time I don’t- you guys know the feeling, right?” He asked, and thankfully, received sounds of assent.

 

“But it gets better. I don’t know when, but he made a funny comment in the middle of the movie, and I laughed, so hard. And from there we started commenting, and that evolved into talking during it. Suddenly, we’re hardly watching, just making jokes about stupid stuff and laughing, the entire time. I remember wondering why I’d waited so long to do this with him. Hanging out with Dave was perfect, especially that night- and that was the start of our tradition.” John said, and the audience seemed surprised. “Doing that got so easy that we both found ourselves finding time for each other whenever we could. If it wasn’t in person, it was text, or Skype. He became my best friend pretty quickly.” John said, and smiled. “We talked about everything, including that first night. It just became a fact about us. We were best friends. We had sex once.” John looked up. “Don’t do that, by the way, bad idea.” John broke in, and the audience laughed. John laughed a little as well.

 

“Anyway, we did that for months. If it wasn’t movies it was planning outings, ironic ‘dates’ to whatever was going on in Hollywood, attending each other’s stuff, when we could. But movies were special. So, we planned one WMTS- Watch Movies, Talk Shit- night, months later. I’m twenty five now, his flappy bird score is still less than that-” The words prompted another laugh. “And we both had a busy string of events. Work was destroying both of us, and after that huge space of work, we are a _little_ desperate to take a break and see each other. I remember, it was a weekend in April, just after my birthday. We were marathoning M. Night. Shyamalyan horror movies since we both needed a good laugh-” He heard a few ‘oh snap!’s and ‘ooh’s break out through the crowd, and he grinned. That was a pretty solid burn, but he let his audience know that it was all meant for fun. “I’m just teasing you guys, I love all of his movies to death. But anyway, we’re halfway through _The Happening_ , on one of the funniest parts, when the camera just zooms in on some grass for no reason. As a director, I expected Dave to thoroughly enjoy that one weird camera scene and say something really funny there. So I turned towards him, and I see that he’s watching the screen, and I just looked at his face. His sunglasses are off for once and he’s leaning against the couch and laughing, and I’m sure he spoke, but I didn’t register, because I just looked at him.” John swallowed, his heart rate speeding up as he remembered.

 

“I can’t even tell you how awestruck I was. Dave was just so… oh gog. I mean, he was the sun. He was amazing, and beautiful, and probably a thousand more words that either language or I can’t express. But it hit me there. David Strider, the guy I met about a year earlier while he was drinking alone, was incredible. And… I was in love with him.” John admitted, and looked down, smiling. “I’m still in love with him.” He admitted, feeling his ears burn, and looked back up at the audience.

 

“He noticed, of course, that I was staring at him, and I probably looked really weird, but I couldn’t stop. I don’t know how he knew, but he put the remote in my hand, and I paused the movie. We sat there in silence for what felt like a thousand years, and I honestly would have been okay just staying there like that, with him. Forever. And I think it’s moments like that one when you just know.” John admitted, and looked at the crowd. “Anyway, I told him I was in love with him, he told me that he’d been in love with me since we went to Dave and Buster’s. We’ve been together ever since then.” John said, and looked at the audience. He let out a long, unpracticed, slightly lovesick sounding sigh, and hardly even registered the dopey grin that had grown on his face. He was thinking about Dave again, and he had to physically shake himself out of it, remind himself that he was on stage, performing. It unintentionally spurred an ‘aww’ or two out of the crowd, and John smiled.

 

“Yeah. So that’s how I fell in love, and how I still am. I mean, it’s not easy. It took a lot of denial and self searching, and there are moments when you feel like you’ve been rejected in front of everyone in the middle of PE, and it sucks sometimes. But it’s so, so worth it.” John looked up at the audience, a little shyly. “I know you guys were probably expecting something funnier, since this is Comedy night live. I know I left out a lot of funny parts, because believe me- Dave and I have done some pretty crazy, funny things. But it’s Valentine’s day, so I hope you guys enjoyed my story about how I fell in love. And be sure to go tell someone you love them too- just don’t go to Dave and Busters then sleep with them, that’s my thing.” He said, jokingly, and smiled. “Anyway, thanks for listening, now I’ve got someone to get back to tonight. I’ll see you all next week!” John said, and he grinned. “Happy Valentine’s day everyone, I love all of you. Good night!” He said, and his heart raced as the stage dimmed a little, the usual signal that the cameras were off. John received hearty applause for his efforts, and was happy that the audience seemed to like it.

 

John turned, waved, and began to exit the stage when he heard music key in from the speakers. He and the audience both looked perplexed, and John realized it was a remix of the song he’d played at the beginning. John scanned the audience’s faces, and they seemed just as confused as he was, until all the lights dimmed again. It left John clearly visible, but the red spotlight from the piano came on, and John turned to see the lid closed, and someone casually sitting atop it with a dark, red suit. John’s blue eyes scanned up his figure until he saw black sunglasses and an assured smirk. He held a microphone in hand, and his expression was caring, and confident. The comedian’s eyes got huge, and he still had the microphone on his face, from the show. His mouth fell open in confusion, but his heartrate sped up in his boyfriend’s presence.

 

“Dave? What’s going on, how-?” He asked, and Dave moved as the music stopped, and slid off the piano. The director walked towards him as he spoke.

 

“I’m here. You know, you didn’t tell me you were telling such a good story tonight. I found your notes laying around.” Dave said, and John raised both eyebrows at him, a little embarrassed. He hadn’t thought Dave would be watching- wait, how was he even here? John suddenly lost awareness of the audience, and John started to sputter a little in his confusion.

 

“But, I thought you had a late meeting about the script- wait, why are you here?” John asked, and Dave walked over to him slowly, carefully, then intertwined his fingers in John’s.

 

“I… I had a question.” Dave said, and the director noticed a shift in the audience, and saw how they held their breath. John, still confused, still not understanding, squinted at him.

 

“You couldn’t have asked when I came over? You know I was planning to visit you tonight.” John said, and Dave shrugged.

 

“I wanted to surprise you.” He said, and John laughed.

 

“Consider me surprised- way to hijack my show.” John said, teasingly, and Dave raised an eyebrow.

 

“You’re not mad.” He said, and John smirked, forgetting that he was in a room with hundreds of onlookers.

 

“I’m going to be if you don’t ask what you needed to ask. So what is it? What made you hijack my show and remix my song?” He asked, and Dave swallowed. His thumb trailed over John’s hand, and John felt the motion with surprise. He caught his eyes just above his sunglasses, and he realized… Dave was nervous, not doing his typical joking. Concern was on the comedian’s features then, and he spoke quietly. “Dave? Is something wrong?” He asked, and John saw the director shake his head and swallow.

 

“No, no. Nothing’s wrong.” He took a deep breath. “I know I talk a lot, in really long sentences and shit all the time, so I’m going to try not to do that this time.” John was confused, but let him continue. “I, uh, wow. I mean… okay. Okay.” He took a deep breath. “When I first saw you that night at the bar, you were right- I was annoyed so, so much by you. And yeah, you saying that everyone you knew thought I was terrible didn’t help.” He heard a little laugh or two from the audience, but Dave ignored it, and talked through. “Before I realized that you wanted to, you know, befriend me, I thought it was a trick, or something. I thought you were trying to get a story, or brag to your friends, or something, so I was hard on you all night. I was kind of a dick.” John didn’t understand why he was saying all of this, but he nodded.

 

“Yeah, a huge dick. Wh-” the audience’s laugh cut him off, and Dave continued.

 

“But I eventually realized that you were being sincere, and that you actually wanted to get to know me and be my friend. Being with you let me… let go of who I had to be on the outside for a night, and I practically destroyed myself when I realized that I’d fucked it up and lost you, because I had sex with you. And after you left that coffee shop, I hated that I let you go.” Dave said, and ran a hand through his hair. “A few days later Rose got my number, no clue how, but she called me and talked to me. And I told her everything, including how stupid I felt. She promised that she’d never breathe a word of it to you, and so… I told her that I was pretty sure I was in love with you. When I saw you at those parties in the following months, I was terrified of talking to you. She’d been pushing me to talk to you anyway, but it was only when she called in Jade for support that I actually approached you, at that one party.” Dave sighed. “I remember being so nervous, and you were standing with your back to me, looking like a sculpted roman deity or something in a black suit. Your pants had these white pinstripes, and your tie matched your eyes. One of your arm cuffs was messed up because you’d gone to the bathroom and forgotten to fix it.” John blinked. He was surprised that Dave remembered all of that, and even more so when he continued. 

 

“And, you know how you said I was calm and collected when I talked to you? Yeah, bullshit. I was halfway between shaking and dying, and you turned and looked incredible while I rambled on, for what seemed like hours. We talked and I knew I was still in love with you, and every time we were together after that was amazing. I- you’re amazing, being with you is amazing. When we were dating and I was busy writing scripts or casting characters, you wouldn’t know how many lines I deleted, how many times I re-casted, just because I did it while thinking about you instead of my actual job- it was insane. I just loved so much about you that I wanted to be there with you, like always. And I know we fought sometimes, and I’m not going to lie, that whole point when you were having a freak out over your sexuality, after dating me for a few months? That was rough. But we got through it, and I’m so, so glad, because I love you so, so much.”  Dave said, and John’s face was set in permanent blush. He didn’t know how to respond to his words, because he could tell he meant everything, that he’d thought about saying this. John’s eyes shined at the words, and his throat felt like it was overflowing with his love for the man.

 

“I… Dave, I love you too. Why are you saying all of this?” John asked, still not connecting the dots. The blonde man smiled at him.

 

“Because you make me happy, and you deserve to know.” He said, his hand moved to his back pocket. “You make me the happiest person in the world, John, and you make me love you more every day.” He slowly fell to one knee. “And… I was hoping that you could continue making me the happiest man in the world, for the rest of our lives.” He said, and John shoulders fell, his eyes widening and his mouth falling open when he saw the black box he got from his pocket, and tears gathered at the corners of his eyes when he understood.

 

“You’re… _proposing_?” He whispered, and covered his mouth with his hands. He looked down at Dave’s face, and the man had taken off his sunglasses so he could look him in the eyes. John saw everything on his face then- he was nervous, and determined, and there were tears at the corners of his eyes. He was a little playful, but more than anything, the love he felt for John was the clearest on his face. The director’s lips folded in, and he nodded, blinking. John felt tears fall down his face.

 

“John Egbert, will you marry me?” Dave asked, his voice thick with emotion, a contrast from his usual, more stoic appearance. Tears cascaded down John’s face as he nodded, laughing a little.

 

“Yes! Yes of course I’ll marry you, Dave, I-” a heavier cry cut him off, and he was nodding vigorously. “Yes.” He said, finally. John’s smile was a shaking one, but it was still huge, and Dave beamed up at his new fiancé. He took the ring out of its black case, and whispered his next words.

 

“May I?” Dave questioned, and John was crying, but he gave him his hand. He placed the ring on his finger, and immediately, stood and grabbed John, hugging him. He wiped his tears away, and John wrapped his arms around Dave as well. The audience gave the two a standing ovation now, and John became aware. He broke away from their hug to wave sheepishly at the people that were applauding him. A chant started among the crowd- the word Kiss, repeated in a chant. Dave laughed and shook his head at them, but John was willing. He broke away from the hug, and immediately twirled Dave. The director let him move out of surprise, and John pulled the man towards him, then leaned over him, and captured his lips in a kiss. Another roar from the audience sounded, and Dave smiled into it, and wrapped an arm around John’s neck. When Dave pulled off, he jumped into John’s arms, and John lifted and spun him around in response. The two’s laughter could hardly be heard over the audience’s cheers as they spun, but it didn’t matter. They were laughing, they were in love, and more than anything they were together- and that’s what made their Valentine’s special truly special.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and Happy Valentine’s Day!! I have no clue if I would ever continue as the queen demands, but if I did, I would continue it roughly following that plotline, and cut it off as they started dating, then this would be the epilogue. So, enjoy! Leave a comment below if you want, and I hope you liked it.


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